Hello there Sunday, thats a nice dress you're wearing!

Hey everyone, hope you're fine and dandy on this crisp Sunday evening. Can you see any stars? I certainly can't. Maybe they'll come a'twinklin' later eh?

So, something odd happened. I went out last night, crazy young hooligan that I am, and I had a canny time. Got a few sneaky little pints in my belly and had some laughs before I then decided I was tired and needed my bed. Of course, its never that simple and taxi's aren't cheap, so I waited a little while until my friend's taxi arrived (spot on time, by the way, I was impressed with that) and shared the billio. Next morning, THIS VERY MORNING, INFACT, I woke up, and holy hell, when I go out of bed, I fell straight back in. It seems I've done something to my knee, and putting pressur on it or bending it results in a loss of leg-power and a surge of fairly annoying pain. I remember every second of the night out and know for a fact I didn't smash my kne with any kind of hard, metal objects and such, so God knows whats going on. I've been hobbling about all day like Quazimodo - less than fun, I assure you.

I got a new book on Saturday too, its 'Brave New World' by Aldous Huxley. I'm writing aout dystopian novels formy A-Levels, and according tomy bat-shit-crazy teacher, it'll be a good read. So far, I've read the two introductions that were included i this here Vintage edition. Outlook is good. Another of the dystopian novels I've read for the sake of both my English studies and for the sheer crack of awesome books is 'The Road' by Cormac McCarthy, and that book ROCKS SO MUCH ARSEITS A LITERATURE-PIMP. Theres a film recetly been released hich I'll have to get as soon as its DVD'ed and then I'll tell you what I thought of it.

I thought I'd give you a very short extract of a short story I've written, since this post feels too short as it is. Its about an old dude who dies unhappy and can't go to Heaven until he understands why he was unhappy in life and until he accepts the truth of what really happened.

"A quick rush of colour took Edmond to a dark room, only for a second, but the sound of a muted squeal and the striking of skin told him all he needed to know. Another flash took him now to a park bench, where his mother sat with him in a pram. She cried, all alone with a young boy who didn’t understand staring at her, the look of infantile confusion upon his rosy cheeked face. When he she looked back at him, there was still love in her eyes.
Another flash, another room now. The heavens outside were raining down on the Earth, and Edmond’s mother sat with her two sons as they drew pictures of a sunny scene. They didn’t notice the bruise on her arm as she filled in the blue sky. Her smile was filled with love.
Forward again. The park once more and she was sitting at the bench watching her sons play football. They were engrossed, shouting for the other boys to pass, hoping with all their hearts for a goal, for the ecstasy of scoring. Her eyes were lost, they were somewhere else, and only came back when Edmond scored and looked to her for congratulations. The half-hearted smile and wave she sent to Edmond was lost on him, and he turned to receive pats on the back from his friends. She returned to her own world, rubbing her aching cheekbone."

And thats all for today, I hope you like the sound of the story, maybe let me know what you thought (if you have any means of doing so. If you're a stranger...hello there!)

Thanksaaa,
Glen.

A complaint AND a little review. Oh yeah.

Hello there, how you doing? Gooood to hear. Yeah, I'm decent cheers.

So, yesterday was pretty interesting. I take A-level drama, in case you weren't aware and/or didn't care, and as part of this course, my class see a prouction of Lysstrata (Synopsis - men are fighting, women are annoyed, women refuse to shag, men get ridiculous hard ons, men agree to stop fighting, hard ons go away) and it was...interesting. It was done by a company called The People's Theatre, and they are infamous for making terrible productions. But, dispite this, we went, we watched, and we left, scarred. It wasn't terrible, but there were some serious weak points - the main one being a dude dressed in army clotheswho could not act for monkey shit. I mean really, you'd get more emotion out of a vacant old dog. The girl playing Calonice was hot, and she made me love life for a short while. But then the old men and laies stripped off to reveal the worlds shittest body suits, and all of a sudden life was grim again. Oh well.

Something else interesting, you say? That not enough for you? FINE. I got home after our magical trip to the theatre and after I made a lovly slice of toast and had some super healthy high-sugar treats, I popped onto te computer. It was all going great, as it tends to, and then HOLY FUCKING SHIT LETS JUST STOP WORKING AND DECIDE THAT 70% OF THE PROGRAMS SHOULD STOP WORKING. I was perplexed and angry and frustrated, so I went to sleep. I did a system recovery and everything is fine now, but like, still. Really irritating. I would get a new laptop for my birthday in April, but screw that, I'm totally getting a DS XL because my DS Lite is now royally buttocked. I love XL things, especially XL burgers and jugs...

...you just get so much more orange juice in there.

Anyways, time for me to harp about some new music for a small while. This time 'round, its the album 'The Winter of Mixed Drinks' by Frightened Rabbit. I discovered this band a couple of months ago while on one of my regular music hunts, and I was immediatley in love, which isn't common for me - I'm damn well difficult to please. But this band really struck me because f just how much real emotion was in their music - youcan literally feel the swaying of feelings in the band as they play, its fantastic. So, I was pleased when I stumbled upon this bran new album while flicking my way through he sexy halls of the iTunes Music Store. Its a slightly livlier album than the second album, 'The Midnight Organ Fight', and so I was worried that this added energy and volume would distract from the raw power of the songs, but it really didn't. Theres alot of build up in the album, many of the songs take their time in adding layers to the music and it works really well as the Achoo-noo Scottish vocals soar through the lyrics. I particularly enjoyed 'FootShooter', which has a lovely section of vocal 'Oohing' going on, and that really floats my musical boat. 'Skip the Youth' is another stand out track; in one bit the backing vocals chant 'here come the drums' as the beat of the song picks up, and its fantastic. For fans of 'Mumford & Sons', this would be a decent purchase as the bands are fairly similar (I'm not a fan of M&S, by the way, jut to confuse you a bit). Amazon provides this album for the cheapest price as far as I'm aware.

AND THATS ALL HE WROTE. Nearly. Until next time,
Glen.

Its Been a Very Long Time.

Hello all, and to all a hearty hello.

Its been quite some time since I last made a blog - I got a little bit bogged down by work, and am now in the clear (and by that I mean I'm still bogged down by work but the desire to procrastinate is a powerful mistress). Hooray, I'm back and all that, but be warned - there ain't no way in hell I'm doing one a day. I'll just do 'em when I feel like it, but I promise there WILL be at least two a week. Okay? Deal? Right, good.

So I just found a really massive spoon in the dishwasher that I've never seen before in my life, and I'm fairly sure its a sign from God that I am indeed the big spoon. Thank you, big man in the clouds, it means alot to me. Now, could you ensure that our dishwasher does its fucking job properly? One of the bowls was still covered in some kind of rice shit, God knows how it escaped the gallons on water cascading around it angrily while the dishwasher liquid went "ROAR, COME HERE YOU FILTHY BASTARD" at it. I thank all that is good in the world for the invention of the dishwasher though, washing dishes manually is a royal, upper-cut pain in the testicles.

My music world is expanding slowly but surely, as it always has done. One of my new favorite bands is called Brand New. HOWEVER, I like them best in their album 'The Devil and God are Ragiing Inside of Me' because it captures a really powerful, epic sound that I love. I recomend any rock fans reading check it out its a great collection of tunes! I'm also loving my Kids in Glass Houses at the moment and have bought a ticket to see them live in May. I've checked out a few videos of thm playing live on Youtube, and it looks like they're gonna be a great band to witness in all their live, sweaty glory. My own band is doing very well also, thank you for asking sir and/or madame. Hopefully we'll have lots of lovely things for you to listen to in vast viral pleasure very soon.

THAT IS ALL FOR TODAY, FOR MY FINGERS ACHE AND MY MIND DOTH NUMBIFY. Talk to you later people, and do let me know in some way or form if you're reading this - I really fucking hate writing all this shit and not knowing wether a hundred people or no people are reading - the force tells me the figures are substancially closer to the latter....

Thats all folks,
The Glen.

Life Taxi Unintended for Ugly.

Hello there! You might get the title later on, who knows?

So, another weekend, another lack of a blog. I'm a devious little fella, aren't I? I'ma start off by apologising for something guys and gals - my plea's for comments was unfair. I didn't realise you need an account and need t go through some sort of effort, so I don't mind not getting comments anymore. Even if it does make me feel unloved...

Its classic album review time! Well...not that classic, but still older than new. Today, I shall be giving you a very quick whats what of Death Cab For Cutie's album, 'Plans'. To give you a quick idea of how they sound, try to imagine a slightly less experimental Radiohead, but American, and ever so slightly jollier - you are now imagining Death Cab for Cutie. Plans is one of their more recent albums, released in 2005, and is an absolute corker if you're looking to chill to some tunes. Tracks like 'Different Names for the Same Thing' and 'What Sarah Said' expose the bands more mellow, thoughtful side, featuring some nice piano work and some very personal and deep lyrics while tracks like 'Soul Meets Body' and 'Crooked Teeth' are more upbeat and striking - both of these song styles are balanced well throughout the album and sound great! The best track by far (so far, you can hardly see itout there on the horizon of brilliance) is 'I Will Follow You Into The Dark', a lovely and beautifully simple tune about love so deep you'd follow the apple of your eye to the grave. Its really nice! Overall, I reckon its worth looking at this album if you enjoy Radiohead or even the slightly more indie side of music. Its on sale for £3 on 7.digital.com, so give it a listen! SCORE? 8/10.

I haven't really got any news or anything to complain about today, which is probably gutting for fans of my personal pain and emotional suffering - though I'm hoping those people are far and few between. Although, I do have one thing to say - I'm in lov with Pixie Lott. Shes so hot...ahem, I mean beautiful. And shes canny as they come - I watched a few interviews, bless her heart. Aww. Someone get me Pixie Lott for christmas, c'mon...

The track of the day is actually an album...three guesses which one? Seriously, go on, try it out. It won't be to everyones taste, but who knows? See you on the flippedy sideth!

Glenneth.

Theres a Sock on my School Bag.

Hello!

It is a grey sock.

How you doing? Well? Good! Thats what I like to hear. There have been no comments even though I asked so kindly, so I am now mad at you. YES. You. But its alright, I'm sue you had your reasons. Should quickly tell you that when I said this would be a blog a night affair - I was lying out my arse. It'll be frequent, but like piss can I be bothered with a blog EVERY. NIGHT. EVER. I love you no less.

[Glen stops writing his blog to devour his dinner - fish, chips and peas. Classic.]

Right, I'm back. So I got the new Stereophonics album yesterday. Its called 'Keep Calm an Carry On', and after my first listen, I was quite impressed. I'll admit that in general, I'm not a Stereophonics fan. I've only ever really liked Have a Nice Day, Dakota and maybe Mr. Writer, so I kinda bought this as a wild card, and based on how awesome 'Innocent', their new single is. Its a good album! Theres a good range of rockier tunes and softer tunes, I reckon you might like it if you're a fan of previous Stereophonics tunes, or...whatever. You can get the album for a fiver on 7digtal.co.uk!

Its getting really fucking windy these days. I'm a fan of weather - its nice how it changes, nature mixes things up and appreciate that. But goddamnit, wind is the most irritating weather you could ever have the misfortune of having to deal with, especially at eight in the morning walking down a long,cold feild to the bus stop. Wind PUSHES you. If theres one thing I hate, its being pushed. Instant rage. Wind is ALWAYS pushing. Rain? It kinda taps you, thats fine. The sun? Makes you itch. Snow? Freezes your tits off, but makesup for that with snowmen and balls. Yep. Balls. Overall, I really don't like wind.

Thats me done for the day, I'll probably try to review something in the next blog. I do enjoy doing my bit reviews, as I'm sure you've noticed. But until then, toodles!!

The track of the day is predictable. CLICK HERE FOR SOME STEREO PHONICAZ.

Glenneth.

Swiiiiing!

Hello!

Its Spiderman review time, just like I said. Nothing at all interesting going on with me at the moment, so I might as well get on with it straight away! I'll be giving the breifest overview ever of each film, then I'll grant awards such as 'Best Fight' and we'll decide the winner based on the amount of awards each film received. EXCITED??

Spiderman
The film that sets the scene for Spiderman. We see Peter Parker's transformation which is awesome to watch, and then see him take on the utterly badass Green Goblin, father of Peter's friend and utter madman with split personality thanks to his own green gas. A fantastic film with some great action and some fantastically intimate moments. DAMMIT BEN, WHY?

Spiderman 2
Doctor Octopus, lovely doctor come madman thanks to his own creation going haywire (pattern emerging at all?) is the villian on this one. Theres lots of drama about Peter trying to find a balance between his real life and his web slinging life, which is fairly interesting to watch. Luckily, this doesn't affect Spider-Man's screen time, and he film has some really great action sequences. Aunt May becomes hilariously 'old and wise' in this one. I also cried.

Spiderman 3
The darkest of the three, and by god were they proud of that. Three villians (until the end when theres a lovely, totally not predictable twist) Hobgoblin, Venom and Sandman. The action is pretty good, Venom is not represented well at all. Why does the mask come of when he talks? Its not nearly as creepy as venom is supposed to be. Sandman is cool though, if not abit wimpy. The 'emo' Peter is cringeworthy, and the cheese is plentiful. However, the action of this film makes up for that, ALOT. This is a good film...but dan the pointless shot of Spiderman in front of the American flag. Its so ridiculously big headed and annoying and SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT YOUR FLAG. Goddammit.

The Awards!
Best Storyline - 1 (Can't resist the transformation section)
Best Action - 2 (The scene on the train is flawlessly awesome)
Best Villian - 1 (Goblin is pure evil, I LOVE it.
Best death - 3 (DAMMIT HARRY)
Best effects - 3 (DAMMIT VENOM)
Best 'Peter is sad' moment - 1 (DAMMIT UNCLE BEN)
Bonus 'this is too much' round - 3 (Why is he dancing? STOP IT)

Spiderman 1 wins. You'll find that Spiderman 3 only draws with 1 because of the bonus rond, which counts as an anti-point really. So thats that, I had fun! Do you agree with me? Probably not. Do let me know in the comments! We need some comments going on. Incidentally, if you haven't seen the Spiderman's, I reccomed you do so. All three are definatly worth watching.

Thats all for today!
Glenneth.

Oh My Days!

Hello!

Its been at least three days since the last post, and I shit you not, there are masses outside my house, screaming their demands for a new bloggy blog...in my nightmares.

So what the bloody hell have I go to talk about this evening then? Well, a fair bit of stuff has gone down, but I'll be damned if I can remember half of it, so I'll just natter on about whatever comes to mind!

New John Mayer came out THIS VERY DAY. I only found out about it on Sunday so it was quite a nice surprise which really brightened up the beginning of my week. I've only had a chance to listen through once, but my first impressions are very good. Its somewhat calmer than his other albums I would say, and some of the songs get repetetive by about the halfway mark, but for the most part its a solid album with some instant classics (Heartbreak Warfare is pure awesomeness). The album is called Battle Studies, and I reccomend you give it a try. Who knows, maybe its on Spotify for you to listen before ou buy? I wouldn't know, I don't use that thang. I hear its very good, but you know what? Fuck that.

Spidermaaaaan. The second film was on yesterday, and my god I forget how much I love that web slingin' dude. If I was being picky, I'd say our main man Tobey Maguire does that irritating 'stare acting'(the comon traits being staring mournfully just beyond camera in the sad/emotional moments) too often, but overall, you have to love Spiderman. The action is just so juicy its like a visual pineapple. SEXY...with a sting. To celebrate my surge of Spidermanny affection, I have decided this very minute that tommorow's blog will be a THREE MOVIE REVIEW SPECIAL - All of the Spiderman films, in one super slick spot of special speculations. Alliteration for the sake of it = hell yeah bitch.

I am a drummer. I will deny it no longer my friends. This is my bands website. For that super special day called Christmas when we pretend to celebrate Jesus popping out but really just want shit in wrapping paper(Not literally, unless you have problems), I shall be getting a new drumkit. It is very, VERY hot. Look at its gloriousness. I'll make sure to do some sort of ultra cool video of me banging on it for you, on the off chance that you want to see that.

Anyways, thats today done and dusted. I have work to get on with, I can procrastinate no longer!! Its funny, I can never be arsed to start a blog but when I get going, its well fun. Its like talking with my fingers.

Track of the day is actually an advert. Thats right. The holidays are coming.

Happy Monday everyone!
Glenneth.

When My Posters fall From The Wall, My Eyes Rain.

Hello!

Well, you can really feel winter coming in thick and fast can't you? Its time for the thick coats! If we get snow at all this year, I can die happy. Snow may be cold as a metal toilet seat (inside joke, BOOM BOOM!), but its still awesome. Utterly awesome.

So as promised, today I shall be treating you to a small extract from my story, 'A Gruff Tale'. This passage introduces us to the character of Brian Trollton, a troubled middle-ag troll who is forever cursed by the memories of his traumatic past. I'd LOVE to hear what you think. I know its tough to give opinion on a few paragraphs, but you know... so, without futhur ado:

A Gruff Tale Extract

Through this particularly unclean door lies a particularly unclean office. There is a small, wooden desk upon which are a couple of large stacks of documents and sketches and a very, very old computer whose shell has become yellowed with age. In one corner is a filing cabinet, rusted by the incessant dripping water coming down from the room above. One of its drawers is broken and will not shut, and so all of the documents filed into it are no more than a pile of mashed up rubbish. On the side of the cabinet is a thick layer of snot. Some still runs down, some has long since caked and crusted. The creaky old floor is one of two layers; the first being an unpleasant green carpet, the second being an unpleasant green layer of grime and mould. Maggots and worms and mites crawl around in this vast forest of muck, laughing merrily at their luck for being born in such a gloriously disgusting place. The walls are the same as the outside of the building; dark and bland and lifeless. There is a little plant sitting upon the windowsill, and often it can be heard crying at night.
Sitting at the small, wooden desk, one would usually find a fairly large, pale green coloured, hairy backed, long and hairy eared Troll. And not just any old Troll. This Troll used to have an outside job rather than his office job. He would travel from bridge to bridge, hiding underneath them and scaring away anyone who tried to cross. The Troll enjoyed his job to a great extent, until one fateful day, as he was hiding under a bridge just outside the one and only town of Foile. It was a quaint and friendly bridge, and the Troll knew from its kindly feeling that he would get plenty of scares out of the people who try to cross it. The first to cross, a small billy goat, came strutting along wearing a denim jacket and wearing a large white cap. All too excited, the Troll leapt out from his hiding place and bellowed, ‘You shall not pass this bridge! Go now or I shall eat you!’. The billy goat stopped in its tracks; its little goat knee’s shaking slightly. ‘My big brother will KILL you’, it screamed back at the Troll.
Quite shaken, the Troll fell down from the bridge and into the stream below. He clambered over to the edge, by which time to goat was long gone. He recollected himself and clambered back under the bridge, somewhat taken aback. He always considered himself a brave Troll, so he wasn’t too worried about the goat’s brother. Sure enough, another, slightly larger goat came trotting along very soon. The Troll leapt out, bellowing his threats. The goat, however, was no pushover. ‘You speak to me like that once more, you filthy fucking Troll, and I’ll rip your eyes out and bat you to death with them’. The Troll fell into the stream once more, and clambered out once more, now very annoyed through and through. Fuming and soaking wet, he clambered back into his hiding place once more. The next bridge crosser came along. It was a goat the size of a small cottage. Its forehead was tattooed with a decapitated babies head, it had a nose ring, and it wore a leather jacket. The Troll leapt out and screamed his insults.
After the Troll came out of hospital two months later, he was never the same, and was forced to go into the office. Upon reading books retelling the tale of his encounter with the three goats, he was outraged by how very mild it made the encounters out to be. However, he didn’t bother making a lawsuit about it – he had become a very lazy troll indeed. His name was Brian, he was forty years old, and he wet the bed frequently ever since his accident under the Foile bridge.

And thats that. If people like what they read, I may concider putting the whole of Chapter A up!

Thats all for today kids, I'll be back tommorow witha rant of some sort no doubt! The track of the day features on the '(500) Days of Summer' soundtrack, and is such a happy tune. If you have trouble waking up in the morning, set this as your alarm - you'll never be more happy to see the light of day.

CLICK HERE (ALSO, THE FIRST LINK IN THE SIDEBAR IS THE SCENE THE SONG FEATURES IN)

My Pop Eye Tee Will Crease if I Don't Hang it Up Soon...

Hello!

You can just tell the titles are going to get odder and odder, can't you? Don't worry, I'm not mental - if you could see my tee, you'd agree! Whay, rhyming...

So whats in store for you today? Not much. I've had no inspiration for a blog today. Seriously. How rubbish is that? Instead, I shall give you a few updates. Updates that you shall care about. Unless you don't care about. In which case, you'll be very upset. Even though you don't care. Hmm...

So, Pip the hamster. I have good news. We aren't shelling out fifty dibloon's to chop its leg off, it appears that it is healing. My guess is that she just twisted her leg or perhaps pulled a muscle or something - she was limping and now shes not quite so limpy. Ah, what a nice tale eh? Mother keeps asking me if I want one, but I really don't. I've had pets of the small fury variety in the past (Nibbles - lovely lil' gerbil, liked to run away and find the most annoying spots to hide ever, died while I was away at grannies. I suspect mother forgot to feed it. Hmm... and Tim and Rush, two more gerbils. Tim was lovely, Rush was fucking crazy, running about like a miniature lepoard on speed. Tim died first, which surprised me...) and I just don't fancy cleaning out the cage every week and putting it in the study every night so its damn munching and running about doesn't keep me up (the hamster, not the cage).

Remember that apocalyptic story idea I had? Well, I've still not gotten 'round to it. Instead, I've been writing alot of my story, 'A Gruff Tale', which is a story about a Troll which works for the Evil Institute which has to go undercover into the happiest town in the world so he can blow it up. A few people have read various bits from it and have enjoyed it, hopefully it'll be finished someday soon! In tommorows blog, I'll treat you to an extract from A Gruff Tale, because I'm just so lovely like that. I'm not doing it today because I can't be bothered to choose a bit to show you. I'll get round to it, don't worry!

Right so thats all folks, in true looney tunes style. Keep reading, my words like the company! Todays track is gonna be a John Mayer tune,since I've been listening to him all day. This is my favorite track not for the sexually supercharged lyrics, but for the lush guitar tones and smooth grooves.

CLICK HERE FOR 'YOUR BODY IS A WONDERLAND' - JOHN MAYER.

Welcome to Glen - After dark!

Hello!

This post is named so because I'm posting somewhat later than usual. Mainly because I've been napping. Ohhhh yeah. Tell you what, naps are fantastic, but you really pay for it later when its actually time to sleep and you can't because you had a bloody great big nap...

So today, as I said, I shall be giving you an overview of the new Biffy Clyro album, Only Revolutions. Personally, I bloody love track by track reviews, and therefore I shall be doing such a thing for my own review. Lets keep it snappy, here goes -

1. The Captain - Nautical in nature, this is a pretty decent anthem with a particularly sexual pre-chorus.
2. That Golden Rule - A rock song through and through, this is one of the heaviest songs on the album and has a second half that'll blow your socks off with pure awesomeness.
3. God & Satan - Decent calm track, very oddly placed. Not much to say for this one, its run of the mill acousticiness.
4. Bubbles - HIGHLIGHT. The chorus of this tune has some very pleasing harmonies indeed, I just love it.
5. Born on a Horse - Very unique tune with a thick bass-line that'll have you flopping from side to side like a creepy hippy-fish. Good tune, potentially catchy.
6. Mountains - You'll probably be familiar with this one from quite a few months ago. Really decent rock tune with some beautiful lyrics and very pleasing piano/guitar mixtures.
7. Shock Shock - Kind of a harkening back to the Biffy of old, this track is slightly odder than the normal and you need to be in the right mood for it. No particular stand-out bits.
8. Many of Horror - HIGHLIGHT. Great soft start, builds into a very impressive section including lots of 'whoa's. Definatly worth your ears and tears kids.
9. Boooom, Blast & Ruin - This one reminds me of songs from 'Puzzle', the last album, and its a very robust rock track.
10. Cloud of Stink - This is the stinker on the record. It does have a mildly pleasing riff, but its just not to my tastes really, I don't like the vocals at all in this one.
11. Know Your Quarry - I love the tune of this song, the musicality is just such a sexy beast. This is a decent, more relaxed track.
12. Whorses - Some very intense drums kind of spoil this track for me personally, this should have been more of a 'lets finish the album with some emotional shabang'. Not a bad track by any means, but could have been better I feel.
OVERALL - 8/10. Theres some killer tunes present and I recommend it to fans of music with guitars and dudes with beards. I don't think its a Puzzle beater, but its A DAMN GOOD ALBUM.

There we go! Wasn't that fun? If you decide to give Biffy a listen, let me know what your thoughts are in the comments or something, I like talking, it makes my insides warm and pleasing to the touch.

Damn, I'm freaky sometimes. Anyways, thats all today. There will be no track of the day today, instead, I urge you to mount the hot ass of Biffy and ride it 'till you scream.

Glenneth.

Oops, delay!

Hello everyone!

Sorry about the delay. I'd give you an excuse like "Its been a busy weekend", but I'd be lying - I'm just exceptionally lazy. I'm quite touched by how many of you have been bugging me for a new blog, I'm really glad people are reading it and enjoying it! The pressure's on now, eh?

So, whats new with me? Got myself a sparkly new phone filled with wondorous gadgets and lovely things. Its called the Samsung Blade, which is frankly the most epic phone name I've ever heard (as opposed to the similarly constructed 'Tocco', which is significantly less badass), and its not a bad little phone. I've always been against touch screen phones if I'm honest and true from me to you, mainly because I'm a sucker for buttons. Nothing beats a good old mash on the keypad for me, theres something very satisfying about that physical aspect of battering at the keys. So, I got the phone with a fairly sceptical mindset (th mother got it for me while I was away schooling like a pro, because thats just how she rolls sometimes) and I was pleasantly surprised at how easily I got used to the screen. Its no iPhone, but its very good. Hoorah!!

My little sister has a dwarf hamster called Pip. And it is TINY, hence the name Dwarf Hamster. THIS IS A PICTURE F A DWARF HAMSTER. My little sister's is actually a bit smaller than that one. Now, recently, its had a bit of an accident and fallen off its ladders, the idiotic little creature, and its gone and hurt its leg. Poor little thing is hobbling about like a zombie, and needless to say we are all devistated. According to the vet, it may need to have its leg amputated for £50...

WHOA THERE TREACLEFOOT, WHOA. £50? All of a sudden, I'm not sure its worth it for the little thing. Goddamn human affection, motherbear is too attatched to just let it hobble its way to an early grave.

That makes me sound like a terrible person doesn't it? Yeah...I'm all for paying the price if it'll keep wee sister of mine happy, but its still madness that they want that much to slice off a foot the size of a...long pea. I guess the vet needs to put food on the table like. Anyways, I'll keep you updated on Pip's condition.

Thats all I have to say for now, I think. Hopefully its been alright, I may have been too mean, crossed a couple of lines, thrown some shit in the fan, strangled the lioness of morality and virtue...but whatever. There are worse things happening in the world. Like the man who got shot down in Amarillo. He was only asking for directions (bad joke - comes with a free cringe!). But seriously. He was shot.

The track of the day is the recent Biffy Clyro track, The Captain, taken from their new album which is out tommorow. I'll be giving you a little overview of he album tommorow evening probably, so keep your slimy eyes peeled for that!

CLICK HERE FOR EARTAINMENT

Thanks for listening, have a good'un!
Glenneth

Remember, Remember, The...Oh. What Was It Again?

Hello all! Happy bonfire day/night/thing. Lets all celebratea crazy rebel and his failed crazy, rebellious antics eh? Careful with those sparklers mind.

So I've just been nansitting and in doing so I had to sit and watch a show called Judge Judy. Its basically a 'sassy' (bitchy) old judge (bitch) who has a large black fella (awesome) and there are camera's, and a courtroom. Skanky American's come in, we watch the court case, and so on. You can tell who the guilty one is straight away. Its often the one being a cheeky c**t (I'll cencor that one since its Britian's least favorite word, no doubt) an wearing a big chain necklace and trainers. TRAINERS. IN COURT. TRAINERS. I don't care how poor you are kid, you'll wear fuckig shoes! Even homeless people usually have a nice pair of shoes on them. Needless to say, I have no time for shows such as that one.

I hate chocolate. Its so nice. Every day, I say to myself "Glen, you fatty. Stop eating so much chocolate. Its bad. You are BAD. Lets make today the day you start being healthy". But you know what? As I say that last "Lets make today the day" bit, I'm already opening a Yorkie and pigging out. I don't want to be a whale. People with a big of the ol' extra baggage are fine, its okay, the modern man is not running around chasing tigers for dinner. But I don't want to be a blob wobbling along. I shall not be a blob wobbling along. Blobs which wobble are not attractive thigs. I'm all for the whole "Its whats inside that counts", but that phrase can only go so far for blobs.

Err, so I think I'm done today, hope that was fun for you. I'm away to have a massive cake.

No track today, my gift to you, friends, is fireworks. YEAH. You hear al those bangs going on? That was my doing.

Glenneth

I Love Getting Letters.

Good day to you! Hope you're doing well, have you lost weight?!

So today's blog is gonna be a shorty, I'm very tired and I'm ready to power down and spend some time on the happy sack of dreams. If you're reading regularly, or at all, I'd love if you could maybe tell a few friends about my magical words? The more the merrier you know!

I got the new Weezer album yesterday evening. In a totally legal way, I swear. I wouldn't steal a purse, I wouldn't steal a mobile phone, piracy is stealing.../advert mock. I've given it a good ol' listen or two and I can happily report that its pretty good. Weezer were nver a band to be taken seriously like Metallicock or Westlime, and that fact remains - this is a very light, not-too-up-its-arse album. As a result, the lyrics can sometimes be very primitive and kind of rhyme for the sake of it sometimes, but that doesn't matter -like I said, this is a very easy-going album and isn't to be taken too seriously. Its very enjoyable, theres some great riffs and some really uplifting tunes as wellas a fairly nice love song to balance things out. Its called 'Raditude', and you should give it a listen. If you've heard any Weezer songs before, you'll know what to expect to be honest.

We got some bloody lovely pears goin' on in our fruit bowl at the moment. Juicy as J-Lo's Jigglies (cheap shot, I know) and simply devine. I'ma pillage my third one of the hour soon...or maybe I should pace myself? Pear's can become addictive and give you liver failure...

Anyways, thats it. Today's track of the day also happens to be my favorite from the new Weezer album. What a co-incidence!

CLICK HERE FOR FUN AND FROLICS.

It was Very Cold This Morning.

Hello there! I couldn't come up with a post title, so I thought that would be fine.

So, I've talked to a few people and I've said that this blog will be updated daily - hopefully, this is not a lie. I'll try my very best, just fo you loyal readers. Yes, all 3 of you.

So I'm gonna go ahead and talk a little bit about movies today. The trailer for the Prince of Persia: Sands of Time film was released today ( Watch it here ) which is lovely news. I think it looks like it might be alright, most of my faith lies within Jake Gyllenhaal because he rocks and Donnie Darko was a fantastic film. However, I also worry, because a movie based on a video game is rarley good news (and vice versa, I might add). I never did play the game, but the plot seems fair enough. Overall, I'm not getting too excited, but I'm still gonna keep an eye on this one. You should too. DO IT.

Next up, 2012. I may lose a few fans here, but I genuienly think it looks utterly, horrendously, HIDEOUSLY shit. It draws its story from the fact that the Mayan calendar is going to end in 2012...but...the Mayan calander regularly ends. It then starts again. JUST LIKE OUR FUCKING CALENDAR, ON A YEAR TO YEAR BASIS. The nasty goats in the media need to stop trying to scare people with crazy end of the world stories. The film is all for the CGI, its for the people that love to see landmarks get fucked up by crazy old mother Earth on a rampage, I bet the story is ludicrous and the script is pitiful. The Day After Tommorow (Also starring Gyllenhaal, by the way) has done the 'oh shit we're fucked' idea, with mixed results. I'm all for the apocalypse, its fun, but don't try and fuck with people. They know we're suckers for the special effects, they know we're suckers for chaos theories and nutcase end of the world stories. Don't make bad films about it.

But we'll see. When I see it, I'll fill you in on my thoughts. But based on my preview, you can bet your ass I'm going to do everything I can to hate it. Unproffesional? Yes. But thats just how I roll.

On the note of the end of the world, I've had a few people give me feedback on my idea from yesterday, one good friend of mine even linked me to an exsisting graphic novel/novel thing that is quite similarly concepted - but its all good, upon further inspection, I'm safe. It had zombies. I will have no zomibes. I am an alien man. Give me aliens and I will give you love. Unless you give me Alien Vs. Predator 2. That film was a big fat sweaty bollock of a mess.

Well, I guess thats todays blog. They're getting longer aren't they? Pah. More to love. Or hate. Whatever. I'll finish with a track of the day, since that seems like a nice little feauture.

TRACK OF THE DAY - Apocalypse Please by Muse (Seems appropriate)

So until next time folks,
Glenneth

Hallobon!

Hey all! Welcome to a time I like to call Hallobon, those lovely days between halloween and bonfire night.

First off, I'd like to say I hope you had a good night of horrors and chills! I know I did. Went to a party did I, and it was a good night filled with drinks and [enter name of the culprit here] puking up his innards. I love the way everyone can enjoy halloween at any age. As soon as you're too old to demand sweets from wrinkly old neighbours, its party time baby.

So in this, my first proper, real, utterly total post, what is it I think I'd like to talk about? A few things is what.

First, I need to get my toilet complaints of my chest. I hate, I mean HATE metal toilet seats. They are cold and hard. I shouldn't have to lower myself down like an utter maniac because I'm so afraid of the stinging cold of the damn seat. And I don't know about you people, but I like to relax when I'm dropping a monster, and I canot relax when my arse cheeks are shivering. PEOPLE : Get wooden toilet seats, or at least one of those kick ass toilet seat coats. Those fluffy toilet seat coats are pure sexy. 'Nother problem you'll occasionally come across in the bathroom are taps with circular handles. Too many times I have lathered up my hands then gone to turn the tap on, only to find that I can't get a damn grip on the smooth, circluar handle. Its bad design is what it is.

Next up, I'll tell you about an idea I've had for a novel I might write, or perhaps a short story. If you didn't know already, I write quite a lot (hardly ever finish anything because I have the attention span of a pint of sand). My idea came to me after watching I Am Legend, one of the greatest films to come out in recent years (incidentally, I recommend the book too - its very, VERY different, and its fantastic). Basically, its in the format of letters or diary entries, and it chronicles a mans time as one of the last remaining people in the world due to a mass virus outbreak, or something similarly disastrous. Thats all your getting because thats all I really know so far. Don't tell anyone or they'll steal my idea...but what do you think, people? Gizz a comment or message me in some way or form if you reckon I should give that a go, yes?

Anyway, I feel this is getting to be a long post, far too long for the average lazy internetian. Thanks if you've read this far, and seek medical help if you've hung on my every word.

Until next time my loyal banterbugs,

Glenneth.

Might as Well Make A 'Hello' Post...

Hello!

I'm Glen. But you already knew that, I'm 99% certain that you do. If you don't, I'm Glen. Nice to meet you, thanks for stopping by, have a cuppa!

So I had a blog before this'un, on this very site no less! But I decided to start a new one, mainly because I forgot my password for my other account and instead of going through the very easy process of getting it e-mailed to me, I made a new account instead - because thats just how I roll, kids. You can have a gander at my old accound for some jolly old times if you like - http://glens-heated-currency.blogspot.com.

So anyways, I'll be using this blog for the usual reasons people use blogs - to vent my frustration, to procrastinate, to desperatley try to entertain y'all. If anything, its just very theraputic to write down your thoughts I suppose, so here I am, theraputising (new word! You can have that free of charge) my little sockles off. Hopefully you'll enjoy reading my shizz, hopefully I'll enjoy writing my shizz, and hopefully we'll all just have a fantastic time!

That seems like a good enough hello to me to be honest.

Until next mime (I mean time),
Glenneth.