Life Taxi Unintended for Ugly.

Hello there! You might get the title later on, who knows?

So, another weekend, another lack of a blog. I'm a devious little fella, aren't I? I'ma start off by apologising for something guys and gals - my plea's for comments was unfair. I didn't realise you need an account and need t go through some sort of effort, so I don't mind not getting comments anymore. Even if it does make me feel unloved...

Its classic album review time! Well...not that classic, but still older than new. Today, I shall be giving you a very quick whats what of Death Cab For Cutie's album, 'Plans'. To give you a quick idea of how they sound, try to imagine a slightly less experimental Radiohead, but American, and ever so slightly jollier - you are now imagining Death Cab for Cutie. Plans is one of their more recent albums, released in 2005, and is an absolute corker if you're looking to chill to some tunes. Tracks like 'Different Names for the Same Thing' and 'What Sarah Said' expose the bands more mellow, thoughtful side, featuring some nice piano work and some very personal and deep lyrics while tracks like 'Soul Meets Body' and 'Crooked Teeth' are more upbeat and striking - both of these song styles are balanced well throughout the album and sound great! The best track by far (so far, you can hardly see itout there on the horizon of brilliance) is 'I Will Follow You Into The Dark', a lovely and beautifully simple tune about love so deep you'd follow the apple of your eye to the grave. Its really nice! Overall, I reckon its worth looking at this album if you enjoy Radiohead or even the slightly more indie side of music. Its on sale for £3 on 7.digital.com, so give it a listen! SCORE? 8/10.

I haven't really got any news or anything to complain about today, which is probably gutting for fans of my personal pain and emotional suffering - though I'm hoping those people are far and few between. Although, I do have one thing to say - I'm in lov with Pixie Lott. Shes so hot...ahem, I mean beautiful. And shes canny as they come - I watched a few interviews, bless her heart. Aww. Someone get me Pixie Lott for christmas, c'mon...

The track of the day is actually an album...three guesses which one? Seriously, go on, try it out. It won't be to everyones taste, but who knows? See you on the flippedy sideth!

Glenneth.

Theres a Sock on my School Bag.

Hello!

It is a grey sock.

How you doing? Well? Good! Thats what I like to hear. There have been no comments even though I asked so kindly, so I am now mad at you. YES. You. But its alright, I'm sue you had your reasons. Should quickly tell you that when I said this would be a blog a night affair - I was lying out my arse. It'll be frequent, but like piss can I be bothered with a blog EVERY. NIGHT. EVER. I love you no less.

[Glen stops writing his blog to devour his dinner - fish, chips and peas. Classic.]

Right, I'm back. So I got the new Stereophonics album yesterday. Its called 'Keep Calm an Carry On', and after my first listen, I was quite impressed. I'll admit that in general, I'm not a Stereophonics fan. I've only ever really liked Have a Nice Day, Dakota and maybe Mr. Writer, so I kinda bought this as a wild card, and based on how awesome 'Innocent', their new single is. Its a good album! Theres a good range of rockier tunes and softer tunes, I reckon you might like it if you're a fan of previous Stereophonics tunes, or...whatever. You can get the album for a fiver on 7digtal.co.uk!

Its getting really fucking windy these days. I'm a fan of weather - its nice how it changes, nature mixes things up and appreciate that. But goddamnit, wind is the most irritating weather you could ever have the misfortune of having to deal with, especially at eight in the morning walking down a long,cold feild to the bus stop. Wind PUSHES you. If theres one thing I hate, its being pushed. Instant rage. Wind is ALWAYS pushing. Rain? It kinda taps you, thats fine. The sun? Makes you itch. Snow? Freezes your tits off, but makesup for that with snowmen and balls. Yep. Balls. Overall, I really don't like wind.

Thats me done for the day, I'll probably try to review something in the next blog. I do enjoy doing my bit reviews, as I'm sure you've noticed. But until then, toodles!!

The track of the day is predictable. CLICK HERE FOR SOME STEREO PHONICAZ.

Glenneth.

Swiiiiing!

Hello!

Its Spiderman review time, just like I said. Nothing at all interesting going on with me at the moment, so I might as well get on with it straight away! I'll be giving the breifest overview ever of each film, then I'll grant awards such as 'Best Fight' and we'll decide the winner based on the amount of awards each film received. EXCITED??

Spiderman
The film that sets the scene for Spiderman. We see Peter Parker's transformation which is awesome to watch, and then see him take on the utterly badass Green Goblin, father of Peter's friend and utter madman with split personality thanks to his own green gas. A fantastic film with some great action and some fantastically intimate moments. DAMMIT BEN, WHY?

Spiderman 2
Doctor Octopus, lovely doctor come madman thanks to his own creation going haywire (pattern emerging at all?) is the villian on this one. Theres lots of drama about Peter trying to find a balance between his real life and his web slinging life, which is fairly interesting to watch. Luckily, this doesn't affect Spider-Man's screen time, and he film has some really great action sequences. Aunt May becomes hilariously 'old and wise' in this one. I also cried.

Spiderman 3
The darkest of the three, and by god were they proud of that. Three villians (until the end when theres a lovely, totally not predictable twist) Hobgoblin, Venom and Sandman. The action is pretty good, Venom is not represented well at all. Why does the mask come of when he talks? Its not nearly as creepy as venom is supposed to be. Sandman is cool though, if not abit wimpy. The 'emo' Peter is cringeworthy, and the cheese is plentiful. However, the action of this film makes up for that, ALOT. This is a good film...but dan the pointless shot of Spiderman in front of the American flag. Its so ridiculously big headed and annoying and SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT YOUR FLAG. Goddammit.

The Awards!
Best Storyline - 1 (Can't resist the transformation section)
Best Action - 2 (The scene on the train is flawlessly awesome)
Best Villian - 1 (Goblin is pure evil, I LOVE it.
Best death - 3 (DAMMIT HARRY)
Best effects - 3 (DAMMIT VENOM)
Best 'Peter is sad' moment - 1 (DAMMIT UNCLE BEN)
Bonus 'this is too much' round - 3 (Why is he dancing? STOP IT)

Spiderman 1 wins. You'll find that Spiderman 3 only draws with 1 because of the bonus rond, which counts as an anti-point really. So thats that, I had fun! Do you agree with me? Probably not. Do let me know in the comments! We need some comments going on. Incidentally, if you haven't seen the Spiderman's, I reccomed you do so. All three are definatly worth watching.

Thats all for today!
Glenneth.

Oh My Days!

Hello!

Its been at least three days since the last post, and I shit you not, there are masses outside my house, screaming their demands for a new bloggy blog...in my nightmares.

So what the bloody hell have I go to talk about this evening then? Well, a fair bit of stuff has gone down, but I'll be damned if I can remember half of it, so I'll just natter on about whatever comes to mind!

New John Mayer came out THIS VERY DAY. I only found out about it on Sunday so it was quite a nice surprise which really brightened up the beginning of my week. I've only had a chance to listen through once, but my first impressions are very good. Its somewhat calmer than his other albums I would say, and some of the songs get repetetive by about the halfway mark, but for the most part its a solid album with some instant classics (Heartbreak Warfare is pure awesomeness). The album is called Battle Studies, and I reccomend you give it a try. Who knows, maybe its on Spotify for you to listen before ou buy? I wouldn't know, I don't use that thang. I hear its very good, but you know what? Fuck that.

Spidermaaaaan. The second film was on yesterday, and my god I forget how much I love that web slingin' dude. If I was being picky, I'd say our main man Tobey Maguire does that irritating 'stare acting'(the comon traits being staring mournfully just beyond camera in the sad/emotional moments) too often, but overall, you have to love Spiderman. The action is just so juicy its like a visual pineapple. SEXY...with a sting. To celebrate my surge of Spidermanny affection, I have decided this very minute that tommorow's blog will be a THREE MOVIE REVIEW SPECIAL - All of the Spiderman films, in one super slick spot of special speculations. Alliteration for the sake of it = hell yeah bitch.

I am a drummer. I will deny it no longer my friends. This is my bands website. For that super special day called Christmas when we pretend to celebrate Jesus popping out but really just want shit in wrapping paper(Not literally, unless you have problems), I shall be getting a new drumkit. It is very, VERY hot. Look at its gloriousness. I'll make sure to do some sort of ultra cool video of me banging on it for you, on the off chance that you want to see that.

Anyways, thats today done and dusted. I have work to get on with, I can procrastinate no longer!! Its funny, I can never be arsed to start a blog but when I get going, its well fun. Its like talking with my fingers.

Track of the day is actually an advert. Thats right. The holidays are coming.

Happy Monday everyone!
Glenneth.

When My Posters fall From The Wall, My Eyes Rain.

Hello!

Well, you can really feel winter coming in thick and fast can't you? Its time for the thick coats! If we get snow at all this year, I can die happy. Snow may be cold as a metal toilet seat (inside joke, BOOM BOOM!), but its still awesome. Utterly awesome.

So as promised, today I shall be treating you to a small extract from my story, 'A Gruff Tale'. This passage introduces us to the character of Brian Trollton, a troubled middle-ag troll who is forever cursed by the memories of his traumatic past. I'd LOVE to hear what you think. I know its tough to give opinion on a few paragraphs, but you know... so, without futhur ado:

A Gruff Tale Extract

Through this particularly unclean door lies a particularly unclean office. There is a small, wooden desk upon which are a couple of large stacks of documents and sketches and a very, very old computer whose shell has become yellowed with age. In one corner is a filing cabinet, rusted by the incessant dripping water coming down from the room above. One of its drawers is broken and will not shut, and so all of the documents filed into it are no more than a pile of mashed up rubbish. On the side of the cabinet is a thick layer of snot. Some still runs down, some has long since caked and crusted. The creaky old floor is one of two layers; the first being an unpleasant green carpet, the second being an unpleasant green layer of grime and mould. Maggots and worms and mites crawl around in this vast forest of muck, laughing merrily at their luck for being born in such a gloriously disgusting place. The walls are the same as the outside of the building; dark and bland and lifeless. There is a little plant sitting upon the windowsill, and often it can be heard crying at night.
Sitting at the small, wooden desk, one would usually find a fairly large, pale green coloured, hairy backed, long and hairy eared Troll. And not just any old Troll. This Troll used to have an outside job rather than his office job. He would travel from bridge to bridge, hiding underneath them and scaring away anyone who tried to cross. The Troll enjoyed his job to a great extent, until one fateful day, as he was hiding under a bridge just outside the one and only town of Foile. It was a quaint and friendly bridge, and the Troll knew from its kindly feeling that he would get plenty of scares out of the people who try to cross it. The first to cross, a small billy goat, came strutting along wearing a denim jacket and wearing a large white cap. All too excited, the Troll leapt out from his hiding place and bellowed, ‘You shall not pass this bridge! Go now or I shall eat you!’. The billy goat stopped in its tracks; its little goat knee’s shaking slightly. ‘My big brother will KILL you’, it screamed back at the Troll.
Quite shaken, the Troll fell down from the bridge and into the stream below. He clambered over to the edge, by which time to goat was long gone. He recollected himself and clambered back under the bridge, somewhat taken aback. He always considered himself a brave Troll, so he wasn’t too worried about the goat’s brother. Sure enough, another, slightly larger goat came trotting along very soon. The Troll leapt out, bellowing his threats. The goat, however, was no pushover. ‘You speak to me like that once more, you filthy fucking Troll, and I’ll rip your eyes out and bat you to death with them’. The Troll fell into the stream once more, and clambered out once more, now very annoyed through and through. Fuming and soaking wet, he clambered back into his hiding place once more. The next bridge crosser came along. It was a goat the size of a small cottage. Its forehead was tattooed with a decapitated babies head, it had a nose ring, and it wore a leather jacket. The Troll leapt out and screamed his insults.
After the Troll came out of hospital two months later, he was never the same, and was forced to go into the office. Upon reading books retelling the tale of his encounter with the three goats, he was outraged by how very mild it made the encounters out to be. However, he didn’t bother making a lawsuit about it – he had become a very lazy troll indeed. His name was Brian, he was forty years old, and he wet the bed frequently ever since his accident under the Foile bridge.

And thats that. If people like what they read, I may concider putting the whole of Chapter A up!

Thats all for today kids, I'll be back tommorow witha rant of some sort no doubt! The track of the day features on the '(500) Days of Summer' soundtrack, and is such a happy tune. If you have trouble waking up in the morning, set this as your alarm - you'll never be more happy to see the light of day.

CLICK HERE (ALSO, THE FIRST LINK IN THE SIDEBAR IS THE SCENE THE SONG FEATURES IN)

My Pop Eye Tee Will Crease if I Don't Hang it Up Soon...

Hello!

You can just tell the titles are going to get odder and odder, can't you? Don't worry, I'm not mental - if you could see my tee, you'd agree! Whay, rhyming...

So whats in store for you today? Not much. I've had no inspiration for a blog today. Seriously. How rubbish is that? Instead, I shall give you a few updates. Updates that you shall care about. Unless you don't care about. In which case, you'll be very upset. Even though you don't care. Hmm...

So, Pip the hamster. I have good news. We aren't shelling out fifty dibloon's to chop its leg off, it appears that it is healing. My guess is that she just twisted her leg or perhaps pulled a muscle or something - she was limping and now shes not quite so limpy. Ah, what a nice tale eh? Mother keeps asking me if I want one, but I really don't. I've had pets of the small fury variety in the past (Nibbles - lovely lil' gerbil, liked to run away and find the most annoying spots to hide ever, died while I was away at grannies. I suspect mother forgot to feed it. Hmm... and Tim and Rush, two more gerbils. Tim was lovely, Rush was fucking crazy, running about like a miniature lepoard on speed. Tim died first, which surprised me...) and I just don't fancy cleaning out the cage every week and putting it in the study every night so its damn munching and running about doesn't keep me up (the hamster, not the cage).

Remember that apocalyptic story idea I had? Well, I've still not gotten 'round to it. Instead, I've been writing alot of my story, 'A Gruff Tale', which is a story about a Troll which works for the Evil Institute which has to go undercover into the happiest town in the world so he can blow it up. A few people have read various bits from it and have enjoyed it, hopefully it'll be finished someday soon! In tommorows blog, I'll treat you to an extract from A Gruff Tale, because I'm just so lovely like that. I'm not doing it today because I can't be bothered to choose a bit to show you. I'll get round to it, don't worry!

Right so thats all folks, in true looney tunes style. Keep reading, my words like the company! Todays track is gonna be a John Mayer tune,since I've been listening to him all day. This is my favorite track not for the sexually supercharged lyrics, but for the lush guitar tones and smooth grooves.

CLICK HERE FOR 'YOUR BODY IS A WONDERLAND' - JOHN MAYER.

Welcome to Glen - After dark!

Hello!

This post is named so because I'm posting somewhat later than usual. Mainly because I've been napping. Ohhhh yeah. Tell you what, naps are fantastic, but you really pay for it later when its actually time to sleep and you can't because you had a bloody great big nap...

So today, as I said, I shall be giving you an overview of the new Biffy Clyro album, Only Revolutions. Personally, I bloody love track by track reviews, and therefore I shall be doing such a thing for my own review. Lets keep it snappy, here goes -

1. The Captain - Nautical in nature, this is a pretty decent anthem with a particularly sexual pre-chorus.
2. That Golden Rule - A rock song through and through, this is one of the heaviest songs on the album and has a second half that'll blow your socks off with pure awesomeness.
3. God & Satan - Decent calm track, very oddly placed. Not much to say for this one, its run of the mill acousticiness.
4. Bubbles - HIGHLIGHT. The chorus of this tune has some very pleasing harmonies indeed, I just love it.
5. Born on a Horse - Very unique tune with a thick bass-line that'll have you flopping from side to side like a creepy hippy-fish. Good tune, potentially catchy.
6. Mountains - You'll probably be familiar with this one from quite a few months ago. Really decent rock tune with some beautiful lyrics and very pleasing piano/guitar mixtures.
7. Shock Shock - Kind of a harkening back to the Biffy of old, this track is slightly odder than the normal and you need to be in the right mood for it. No particular stand-out bits.
8. Many of Horror - HIGHLIGHT. Great soft start, builds into a very impressive section including lots of 'whoa's. Definatly worth your ears and tears kids.
9. Boooom, Blast & Ruin - This one reminds me of songs from 'Puzzle', the last album, and its a very robust rock track.
10. Cloud of Stink - This is the stinker on the record. It does have a mildly pleasing riff, but its just not to my tastes really, I don't like the vocals at all in this one.
11. Know Your Quarry - I love the tune of this song, the musicality is just such a sexy beast. This is a decent, more relaxed track.
12. Whorses - Some very intense drums kind of spoil this track for me personally, this should have been more of a 'lets finish the album with some emotional shabang'. Not a bad track by any means, but could have been better I feel.
OVERALL - 8/10. Theres some killer tunes present and I recommend it to fans of music with guitars and dudes with beards. I don't think its a Puzzle beater, but its A DAMN GOOD ALBUM.

There we go! Wasn't that fun? If you decide to give Biffy a listen, let me know what your thoughts are in the comments or something, I like talking, it makes my insides warm and pleasing to the touch.

Damn, I'm freaky sometimes. Anyways, thats all today. There will be no track of the day today, instead, I urge you to mount the hot ass of Biffy and ride it 'till you scream.

Glenneth.